March 28, 2018
My Difficulty With Shutting Off
I have had quite the week of being really sick and basically incapable of leaving my bed or the couch. I haven’t been this sick in years and I had a really hard time accepting it. On my instagram stories I shared my feelings on the difficulty of fully shutting off when you are sick and I received so many messages from people feeling the exact same way. It seemed like a lot of us were struggling with the concept of unwinding and focusing on getting healthy, so I figured it was something that I needed to address further on here.
At times like this, I find that I'm harder on myself than normal. I gain an incredible amount of self doubt and I sit there critiquing all the things I could be doing, the things I should have done last week or the things I never get around to. I remember sick days, use to be kind of enjoyable, I would watch cooking shows all day and my mom would make me my favourite soups. What happened? Now that I'm older, with my own business to take care of, I feel defeated when I can't work and my inner critic gets the best of me.
I was really trying to figure out why I felt this more than ever this time around. Was it because I had nothing better to do with my time than to be on social media and constantly be reminded of what everyone else was accomplishing in the world? Or is this what being an entrepreneur will always feel like, a constant battle with yourself and the fact that you could always be doing more and no one else will be covering for you.
Unfortunately, I don't have the answer but this article is not about that, it's more so just a reminder that a lot of us on social media may look like have it all together on the outside but we are just as overwhelmed as the next person. The pressure can eat at you like anything else can. However to all my lovely readers and followers out there, you helped me maintain my sanity when you sent me beautiful messages telling me to get better and that you'll all be there regardless if I posted daily content or not.
It was reassuring to hear from you and it made me take the initial steps on being a bit easier on myself during moments of weakness like this. I think once I realized how sick I was and how nothing was going to make me better except rest and patience, I felt like I could breath again. Trying to remain calmer these last 24 hours has actually helped me feel a bit better mentally and physically. I was able to get out of bed and I realized that at the end of the day our health really is the most important thing and if you just let yourself fully recuperate, you can come back with more energy and drive than ever before.